Life Spoke

to every one who helped me with this incredible venture.

Here are a few names:

Sameer Advani
James Anastasio
Molly Baab
John Baranello
Janice Bartholomew
Mom and Dad
Matthew Bascue and Kristin Mulkahy
Roger Bascue
Wayne Bemlinger
Valerie Bernard
Emily Bernath
Black Sands Resort
Edward Boman
Robert Borning
Joseph Boyan
Stephen Brunner
Gary Bryson
Susan Bussel
Isma Chaudhry
Kathy Christoffersen
Jason Collins
Donald Condit
Todd and Rebekha Cooper
Gwen Cullen
Charlotte Dadabay and the ISU Crew
Leslie and Ed Dailey
Brian and Michelle Dellett
Danelle Devenport
Terri Dickinson
Debbie Dolyle
John Dunn
Joan Easton
Karline Elder
Kay and Lester Fatheree
Joe and AnnMarie Ferdinando
Nancy Flanagan
Marcie Fourre
Dana Freeman
Amy Hunsicker and Mike Fritz
Manoli Galanakis
Joe Geib
Frank C. Gibson, Inc.
Chris and Tony Guinta
Tony and Stephanie Guinta
Marlan Gonzales
Heather Gorman
Kieth and Jolyn Green
Eileen Guarascio
Dan Harrington
Steve and Sharon Hill
Robert Hogan
Marilyn and Don Holland
Nicholas Holmes
Caroline Hubbard
Sarah Ill
Kim and Dan Jackson
Jackson Family
Janice Johnson
Rebecca and Jimbo Keating
Beatrice Kilduff
Gerald Killane
Judy Kirschenbaum
Rebecca Kozisek
Jason Kuo
Amy Lancaster
Kristina Lang and Drew Hartley
Clayton Laramie
Kristen and Grant in Laramie
Gavin Lau
Dawn Lesley
Ray Latourneau
Charles Lickel
Dan Lickel
Jason and Skylar Lickel
Ken and Joanne Lickel
Robert Lickel
David Longdon
Reema and Sam Loutan
Kathryn Lynch
Michael Lynch
Elizabeth Lyons
Peter Mannella
Theodore Martens
Mary Mears
Dorothy Mersereau
Alexis Meyer
Scott and Roger Miller
Michael Moltzen
Jane Monserud
Daisy Monticelli
Walter Mugdan
Marlene Neff
Sherba Nelson
William and Cory Neston
Brendan Newman
Carla Nickelsen
Anne and Tom Nodes
Jim Overhuel
Joe Pajonas and Friends
Jan Perin
Justin Perlman
Dani Petrey
Lori Poletti
Patti and Ted Pulling
Thomas and Lynn Ritchie
Lisa Rohrbough
Pat Rolls
Rich Rolls
Laura Romeyn
Paulette Rosen
Peter Sandin
Donald Schaffner
Alan Schwartz
Lester and Mary Scott
Regina Seeger
John Shea
Chuck and Joann Shotola
Jeanette Spano
Elizabeth Spurrell
Brandon Stager
Bud and Lindy Stahlman
Fred Stringer
Emily Terrell
Andi, Michael, Seth and Ian Thomas
Jack and JoAnn Thompson
Jon, Kate and Olivia Thompson
Lisa and Eric Tiedemann
Alison Vogt
Mary Wagner
Ray Werner
Kara Whipple
Kirk Wieber
Nick Wirth
Roby Young
John Zacherle
Neysa Zurkammer

Got back on Friday. Tracey picked me up in Portland at nearly midnight. She didn't recognize me with my beard, she called my name like a question, 'Drew?'. We hugged eachother for a long time.

Saturday at home, I spent the day putting things back in order. There were clothes to be washed, food to cook and a home to get used to again. I ran out to the grocerie store and the bank. By the time I got home I was ready to lock myself inside. I forgot how confusing the grid system of roads can be when you don't have them memorized and you're speeding around in a car. We had a few friends over Saturday night and I caught up on what's been going on.

Sunday was an easy day, watching football and writing. I had no desire to go out anywhere so I stayed in and picked up minor tasks that lay strewn around.

Monday, Tracey went to school and I worked on my list. Saw my grandfather, got a haircut and spent a few hours at the laundraumat cleaning our down conforter and my down sleeping bag. Tracey went to the doctor for the third time about her stomach pains. She's pretty sure she has an ulcer. They scheduled her for a barium cocktail and radiology to check it out.

Meanwhile, I found out that my health insurance lapsed while I was gone. Despite what I was told when I made inquiries about taking the time off of work, we didn't have any coverage for the months of October or November. I'm looking into the options, but more than likely we'll have to pay for Cobra insurance. Tracey visited the doctor a number of times in October and I got an MRI on my ankle. We need coverage to keep those injuries and ailments covered in the future.

Tuesday I drove Tracey and two friends up to Portland. They flew to Denver and are spending a week there attending a Green Buildings Conference. The school paid for their airfare because they are volunteering at the conference and will be representing the U of O. They'll be staying with my friends Chris and Kelli, just like I did when I was in Denver.

I pulled the bike out of the box and re-assembled it. The airline treated it very well, no bruises.

Today, Wednesday, I went back to work. It was good to have structure again. I got all caught up on what has happened since I left. No big surprises there. After work I went over to REI to see my friends and chatted with Jude from the bike shop for a while about the trip.

This evening I had dinner at my uncle's house. He's been driving my grandfather over for dinner every night and I think they all enjoy the closeness of family. I know I did - it was good to feel somewhat at home there.

So, I got a new email address - you can all feel free to use my old one if you have that, but I didn't want to broadcast it across the internet. If you don't have that address, send me an email at:
lifespoke@hotmail.com

I don't know why I didn't think of that earlier.

I'm too tired to write something very interesting right now...some reflection on my time at home. But I've been writing plenty about it offline. Here is a small sample of what I've put down:

I’m lethargic. My system is transitioning from the constant effort to the constant atrophy. The things I have to do seem slow and unimportant. A huge difference from living each moment into the next, a series of efforts stringing in a line to get me where I’m going. Here I could sit on my ass all day and at the end of the day I’d be right where I need to be – right where I started, here at home with Tracey.

I don’t have to weigh every purchase against the pain involved to haul it with me. A bottle of garlic is wheeled to the checkout, carried to the car, driven ‘cross town, carried up the steps and placed in the refrigerator. It’s there when you need it and it doesn’t have to minded while it waits for you to use it again. A bag of potatoes, onions, three hearts of romaine, a bottle of blueberry juice, two bars of soap, two bottles of wine and a whole chicken. Waiting for me, part of a passive system that only requires I use it before it spoils. No breakage, no worry over portion size, no packing up soap when you’re done using it, toothbrush in the cup in the cabinet next to a full-sized tube of paste.

Time is in flux as well. Time on the road was everything – I have to ride to X town by dark tonight or my whole schedule is messed up. Get up early, one hour before I’m riding, glancing at my watch the whole time to keep it within that hour. Ride for an hour then stretch and eat. By noon have eaten such and such amount of food. I know the exact time of sunset and I have to make it by then. Once I get there I have to know the time of dark in case I need to set up my tent under its cover. Time zones change, an hour here, an hour there. Speed is measured in increments of one hour – miles per hour. Ten miles per hour was the realistic time out there.

It's taken me a while to sit down and write. As for riding, this will be the last entry. I'll keep updating until I get home to Oregon, to Tracey. When I finally see Tracey again the trip will be over. It's been over two months since we've seen each other - too long.

The last few weeks have been disorienting. I've been surrounded by family and friends, staying up past dark, getting up a little later in the morning. I'm indoors more than outdoors and I've only felt the wind on my face a few times. With only a few hours by myself, solitary contemplation has been fleeting. I want to write all the time, but I don't want to be anti-social. Ideas clogging my thoughts, I find myself staring at things when people are talking to me. I hope it doesn't seem too odd, but I fear it does. A slow transition back to 'normal'.

I'm still holding onto it, to the dream of traveling and writing and giving back to society in this way. I love this process - go somewhere new and capture it in words, from the perspective of virgin eyes. I hope I have done this well at times but there were so many things I saw that I couldn't harness. We can only do our best and that's all. Besides, I was riding a bike many dozens of miles each day, to write everything would have slowed me considerably.

I've learned so much. About this country, about giving, about faith, trust, support...about me. Riding out of Colorado I thought almost constantly about what to do with my life. I gained so much perspective through being with friends. Seeing the way they live their lives; the roads they have taken, the professional paths they are choosing. "What am I really destined to do? What do I really want to do with this life?" It's not cut and dried like it used to be - you went to college to be a doctor and you were a doctor. You went to trade school to be an electrician or mason and you worked. A farmer, a mechanic, engineer, lawyer, businessman. Most people chose a track and the train rolled through to retirement. Young people in my generation have been encouraged to 'find a job that makes them happy'...but the options are overwhelming and college life can be numbing.

I flipped the coin of engineering and writing so many times I got sick of the question. Many of you have encouraged me to keep writing and I'm seriously considering it. I can't help but wonder if the reading is better because of the context, not the writer. I try to muffle that negativity but it lingers.

Anyway, that's where I'm at. Stuck in limbo on the career question and still a few days away from seeing Tracey. I'm very much looking forward to getting home, to letting my guard down. So much shuffling over the past months, I want to set the cards down at home. Go to work, see friends, put my life back in motion. Breathe.
_______________________________________________________
Finished the ride last Saturday - the last push. Met up with eight friends and family and we rode down to the beach. It was the first time I'd ridden with a big group and it was fun. Chatting, joking, laughing. Only 21 miles from Freehold to the beach and my ankle felt fine while I was on the bike.

We rolled onto the road that parallels the inlet and the sun was high and bright. Riding in a group buoyed me above the depths of my mental space. I was grasping to gain context on what was happening - the ride of a lifetime was coming to a close and I hadn't assessed how I was feeling about it. My emotions were bland, un-aroused. The pace was leisurely and the weather so soft that there was no edge. I had expected to be dogged tired, tough and road weary. I was anything but tired and road weary.

We took some photos at the pavilion on the end of the boardwalk, and then I hefted the bike out onto the sand. I pushed the bike down into the water. The knee-high breakers collapsed and rolled up the sand, swirling around my ankles as my feet sunk. The ocean was beautiful. The crowd on the beach was cheering.

Two bottles, one with Grandma's ashes, one with Pacific Ocean water. The ashes flew in the breeze and the water splashed as the two oceans met. I tasted the last drop of water out of the bottle, cold and salty.

I assembled my group of riders and we took photos. Hugs and handshakes, congratulations and smiles.

I have to apologize to those that were there. I was uncharacteristically somber; you all deserved the crazy explosive madman. But what you got was a contemplative person wondering if I deserved all this. I hadn't ridden the whole way, I wasn't really ready to be done. The word 'finished' kept flying around but I was stuck figuring out what that word really meant. It was hard for me to say that without wanting to footnote it - I hadn't finished in the style I set out with.

Over to Leggett's Bar for lunch. It was weird to be insulated by so many loving friends and family after the ceremony on the beach. No time to think, my brain was overloaded. I wish I had been able to address the crowd with a few words of gratitude for their support and donations. Usually I can pull something out to deliver, but I was completely at a loss for summarizing this day. My thoughts were running around unsupervised and I couldn't collect very many.

It was a really nice time. Drinking beer and eating home food. The jovial atmosphere was infectious and I was calmly happy to share in the spirit.

After lunch my Achilles started hurting. We had ridden only 21 miles, but that was enough. The lump at the back of my heel came back and the sore squeakiness crept back in. I welcomed the pain as a sign that I had made the right decision not to continue riding from Chicago. I would have had to ride over 1000 more miles...that would have been ridiculous. After days and days of rest a short ride had inflamed the tendonitis. Confirmation.

The pain was a sign that I had actually completed the ride. I slowly gained satisfaction that I had done everything in my power to ride across the United States. This injury was out of my control. "Worrying is like rocking in a chair, it gives you something to do but the effort gets you nowhere." (a quote from Chris Guinta)

Tuesday I went up to New York City. I had lunch with Mike and Kirk, coworkers from the EPA. We went up to my old office on the 25th floor. It felt like home - I had spent thousands of hours up there sharing teamwork with a dynamic, energetic group of comrades. We went out after they were done working and talked for hours, catching up on the years gone by.

Wednesday morning I went to the Freehold Intermediate School. I spoke to two classes about my trip. They had been following my progress and using it as an example for class work. The kids were great, they had thoughtful questions and innocent questions. I explained to them about my writing process and how I take notes, how I remember what to say when I finally sit down as I am now. I think they took something away from what I said and I hope it helped them put in context how rewarding it is to continue learning throughout life.

Wednesday night I went to a Boy Scout meeting - my old Troop 155. I spoke to them about the importance of planning things out, researching and mentally preparing yourself for challenges. I encouraged them to go on a solo mission of their own one day, but not until they are much older - people will take advantage of a well intentioned young person faster than they can blink. I also wanted to let them know that Boy Scouts had laid the foundation for all my outdoor sports and that being an Eagle Scout has helped me in life immeasurably.
________________________________________________________
This is a long entry, but I'm going to recap my progress from Chicago to Jersey as well:

Monday 10/30:
We drove south to Kankakee, IL and had lunch at a diner. The wind was blasting out of the south as my mom dropped me off east of Momence, IL. I rode across the gusty wind into Indiana on Hwy 114. It was strange, but there was no sign to mark the entrance into Indiana.

We drove for hours and miles through Indiana farm country on Hwy 10. The land was flat with the occasional low rolling hills. The roads were narrow but the traffic was light. We came into Warsaw and called around for campgrounds. All the ones listed in the phone book were closed for the season so we opted for a motel in North Webster. We cooked sausages and rice right outside the motel room, the owner came by and didn't have a thing to say about it.

Tuesday, 10/31:
East on Hwy 8 through quaint farming towns. Rolling hills brought us to the Ohio border. I got out in Newville and suited up. A stout tailwind blew me toward Ohio and I had fun going 25 miles per hour with little effort. We met up in Hicksville, OH where we took this photo.

On the edge of town I explained the grain elevators and the co-op system to my mom. Trailer loads of grain pull up to the office and onto the scale. A dipper goes into the load and pulls out a few samples of grain which are assayed. The truck then goes over to an enclosed bay next to the huge silos where an operator opens the valve and the grain flows onto the floor, through the grates and is conveyed up into the silos. Based on the quality of the grain assayed and the tonnage, the farmer gets a receipt for his crop. We watched a half dozen trucks pull up and make deliveries. It was fascinating to watch.

East on Hwy 18 into the cute old town of Defiance. East on Hwy 281 through flat open farming country. It was very similar to central Nebraska. At Bradner we got onto US 6 and took it into Fremont. Behind a supermarket, beside the Sandusky River we make a pot of soup and ate good rye bread. It was getting late in the day and the sky was threatening rain as were the meteorologists.

East on US 20 around Norwalk and up to I-80. Our plan was to be just west of Pennsylvania that night. We took the interstate to make up time; it was raining and dreary out. I-80 east to I-271 north around Cleveland then I-90 east to Painesville. We found a flee-bag motel on the edge of town - neither of us was excited about camping in the rain.

It was Halloween and the young people staying in the room next to ours were dressed up and ready to go out. They marveled at the camping stove and the sautéed shrimp and tilapia I was cooking with it. Dinner was fabulous with a side of quinoa (South American super grain).

Wednesday, 11/1:
East on US 20 to Geneva. Here we went north to Geneva-on-the-Lake, which reminded us both of a Jersey Shore resort town like Seaside or Point Pleasant. At the City Park we saw the lake. The wind off of Lake Erie was sending small waves onto the beach. The air was fresh and smelled like the distant, mild ocean air when you're a few miles away from the Atlantic. Hard to place.

There are no tides on the Lake, but the small waves made us both feel as if we were on the beach of some estuarine bay near the ocean. It was pleasant.

East on Hwy 20 to Kingsville, then south to Hwy 84 east. Just outside of Bushnell I suited up again and rode into Pennsylvania just west of Tracy, PA. It was a beautiful day, cool but not cold, sunny but not glaring. I got into the car at the junction of Hwy 226 and US 6N.

Within a few miles we drove into the hills. Into the Allegany National Forest near Warren, PA. It was beautiful. If we'd been there a few weeks earlier the leaves would have been explosively painted. What we saw were the late fall browns and rusty reds with the odd pillar of orange in the distance. The hardwood forests were nice to see, as I'd spent my boyhood hiking through such land.

As dusk was beginning to dim the view we found a campsite east of Roulette. The tent went up, the stove came on and soon we were grilling steaks on a propane grill. We finished dinner and I started to build a fire when the first drops fell. The forecast had deceived us by calling for clouds only.

We huddled under the open door at the back of the car, watching the fire. The rain gathered speed and was soon dumping buckets on us. Luckily the big tent my mom had brought was battle tested in the wet spring of the Maine woods.

Thursday, 11/2:
It was sunny when we awoke. We were dry and not too chilly. We packed slowly but were on the road early. This Highway 6, The Grand Army of the Republic Highway was my intended route through Pennsylvania. It would have been a fine road to ride on. The shoulders were wide and the uphill climbs would have rewarded me with roller coaster downhill drops.

Just west of Wellsboro we turned off to see the Grand Canyon of Pennsylvania. A paved single-lane road brought us up to the trailhead. We walked a half mile and the ground fell away down to the river below. It was beautiful and I can only imagine how intense it would have been with trees wearing their fall coats of color.

Back at the trail head I put on my cycling clothes and pushed off. Over three miles of downhill riding I hit a top speed of the 38 mph, laying the bike into the curves with an ear toward oncoming traffic - I saw no other cars. At the bottom I got back in and we headed east again.

The towns along Hwy 6 define the word quaint. Square old stone buildings along the rivers. Narrow streets that wind along following the contour of the valley. Then out of town through unpopulated timber and the occasional farm where the valley floor opens up wide.

We saw a sign for Keystone College and it rang a bell. We drove into Factoryville and I turned off at a sign for the school. Yes, we had been here before. My mom and I drove here when I was in high school, looking for a college to attend. We remembered the store where ten years ago we saw several pickup trucks with big dead bloody bucks stretched across their hoods. It was opening day and the good ol' boys were outside the store drinking beers with thoughts of backstrap and venison burgers. How coincidental to be driving through, together, at the same time of year!

East through Scranton, then south to I-80, east again to Hwy 33, south to Easton, PA. We drove up the hill in Easton to Lafayette College, Tracey's alma mater. Some photos then I flew down the hill and into town, around the big circle and east toward Phillipsburg. I crossed into New Jersey at the local bridge between the two towns. Huge signs told me to walk my bike, so that climax was deflated.

Back in Jersey. I-78 east to I-287 south into New Brunswick onto Rt. 18. South to Freehold and we were home by 6pm. No need to take the back roads in Jersey, I'd seen almost the whole state as a kid and young adult.

Friday I bought a pair of normal shoes and walked around the yard. Saturday we rode to Manasquan.

I'll send a note to let you know how my trip back home goes. Thanks to everyone!
-Andrew

This is a quick little video from when I was approaching the Continental Divide in Wyoming. It's a bit lat but hey...it's a video.

Click Here

I'm in Youngsville, PA at the Public Library. The connection is funky so no pics, just the basics.

My Achilles has been bad, so I've only ridden about 20 miles in the past three days. Over the state borders. My mother and I are having a good time staying on the back roads that I would have ridden on my bike. It really stinks not being out there with my face in the wind, incapsulated in the style I started with. Everything for a reason right? I'm doing what I need to for my health...am I getting old now?

Details:

Riding from Freehold this Saturday (11/4).

To ride with me and friends: Meet at the Freehold Boro High School on Robertsville Rd. at 9am. I'll wait there until 9:15 or so. Should be about 25 miles to Manasquan...should be there by 12:00 or 1:00 in the afternoon.

To meet us at the beach: We'll end the ride at the Manasquan River inlet. Up on the beach, down to the water where the surfers hang out - next to the jetty. If you get there early, walk out to the jetty, it's a cool walk.

After dipping the tire, dumping the water and spreading ashes we're gonna party. Head down to Leggett's Sand Bar which is on the main road across from the arcades. Not sure how long we'll be there but I'd love to meet you all and answer questions/crack jokes/tell tall tales.

Saturday night I'm going up to Milltown (just outside of New Brunswick). My buddy Drew Umyn is having a get-together at his apartment - 260 Riva Avenue, Milltown.

Tuesday I'm heading up to NYC to meet up with friends. I'll be in the City around noon for lunch, then we'll go out after 5pm to hang out - I'll be downtown near City Hall.

I'll also be speaking to elementary school kids next week - Freehold Intermediate School. On Wednesday I'll go to a Boy Scout meeting - Troop 155, my troop from Freehold.

Again, if your school, church, club, etc. would like to speak with me, let me know.

I'll be flying back to Oregon on Friday, Nov, 10. I'll be back at work on Wednesday, Nov, 15.

If you have questions, send me a comment. The comments now go to my email account so only I can see them. Give me your contant info - phone, email, etc. - and I will get back to you.

See you all soon!

Sorry for this, but there's been a change. My mother and I are driving toward NJ this morning. I'm changing the date of the Freehold/Manasquan ride with friends. Saturday, Nov. 4th.

I hope this doesn't conflict with other plans folks may have made.

A few thoughts:
The whole point of this trip was to ride a bicycle from coast to coast. I'm going to be in a car because of this injury, so there isn't much point in dragging out my journey to NJ. I'll ride my bike to the coast, but the in-between is moot.

I also miss Tracey incredibly. If I were to stay in NJ for another week we would fly past each other in the air, literally. She'll be out of town for an architecture conference and I want to see her before she heads out for that. Waiting until she gets back would put me home in mid-November.

And, I need to get life back. This fundraiser has siphoned me away from life for two months. I need to get back to work before I forget how to do my job.

I'm also beginning to think about the aftermath. I am making myself available to speak to schools, churches, Boy Scout troops, clubs, etc. There's a lot of work to be done to put this whole experience in context and construct a presentation. If you or someone you know would be interested, send me a comment with your email address.

So check back later this week for directions to my house and the beach. Details on where/when.

Thanks for everyone's support. See you soon, either in person or in my heart!
-Andrew

A person I don't know, or have ever heard of, wrote the following to me in a comment on my last entry. I have since decided to moderate comments so that they all need to come through me before being posted. I chose to put them here so that I could mention a few things with regard to them. Please note that they are mean spirited and maybe a bit startling to some people. I hope you understand why I'm doing this.

Cancer is a man made disease, the phyicisians in the 1700 and 1800 never
reported a single case of Cancer, malignent or binine...It was not till the
inversion of the internal combustion engine did the first few cases of Malignent
tumors, cancer tumers apear in the medicial jornals. It was after the first
atomic testings were performed in the new mexico desert in 1940 did Cancer start
showing up in large quantitys of people.

There are many other cases
of Radialactive fallout that will also increase the affects of geneologicaly
inherited cancers...
Radition mutates right?

There was a Russian
satallite that fell from space with a soccor ball size of radialactive plutonium
aboard, burnt up in reentry and spred radiation over most of northen Canada and
Russia, the dust traveled world wide.

Polution-preservitives.
Thining of the ozone layer. Led, copper, tin, mercury all found in most ocean
foods.

I have family that have died from cancer, and I would just
like to state that we have made little to no headway in cancer...they say we
have, but if that was true they would be asking for money all the time. Cancer
is still killing people, there is still no cure, and no cure in sight. Since
Terry Fox ran aross Canada in the late 80's for cancer, we still have no cure
for the bone cancer terry died from, nore breast, ovarian, testicular, lung,
brain, or any of the other major organs, they will tell you that their trements
have improved, but its only marginal in reality...

What makes you
think YOUR efforts are going to make a difference? Terry fox's efforts did
nothing. Jim henderson who also did a poorme-othon, his efforts did what for us?
The cure for cancer is easy!!! return the planet back to its origanal
state...thats it. No more cars, or burning of fuels, andthing that was made
after say oh 1600 we just dont use.. no plastic or modern dyes. For christ sake
every day you wake up and eat you Special K... or any other cereal, your eating
Herpys and aids medication...next to cancer drugs are they not the most powerful
drugs on the market?? So while your fighting for cancer, your body is trying to
deal with the packaging cemical from kellogs, which mind you was first created
to treat herpys and aids...not preserve you cereal....

Good luck,
this time next year, your efforts will of proven fruitless...for everyone person
that you get to care, there are 10 that could care less...

________________________________
I'm glad this was written; someone had to point out some of these things. It's unfortunate there isn't more tact in the world, but then this is the internet and these comments were sent via a faceless, sterile computer not much different than the one you're reading this with. You don't even have to know how to spell to use it.

Some of the facts mentioned might be valid, but my blog isn't a discussion about cancer itself. That said, it does give me a good opportunity to touch on some things.

I gave a ton of thought to the fact that cancer can't be cured by any individual effort. I thought about the fact that the American Cancer Society is a HUGE nonprofit with millions of dollars in their budget; did I want to support that? I researched the Society, even attended a conference they held with some of their researchers working on DNA. Few nonprofits are able to get 100% of their donations to their cause, but the ACS is as good a place to put your filantrophy as any. And they have a great name and network to back them. They have a website I could use to orchestrate my fundriasing while I'm on the road.

My biggest disquietude while planning this fundraiser was the fact that there will be few true 'cures' for cancer. I worked for the Environmental Protection Agency for almost three years. My main assignment was reducing emissions from diesel engines. Diesel emissions have been found to carcinogenic. Does anyone in the world fool themselves to think that we'll see diesel engines go away in our lifetime? Does anyone in the world fool themselves to think that preservatives in food will go away? That we'll stop using fertilizer and pesticide on our crops? Dyes in our clothes? Of course not. These things will be around messing with our physiology for centuries, maybe causing cancer or other serious diseases. But we enjoy them - they make our lives run, they are the backbone of our modern society.

The rantings of the person who wrote that comment are those of a person who is out of touch with the reality of the world in which in we need to feed over 6 million people. I don't like eating preservatives. I don't like excessive packaging. I don't even like fluorescent lights. But I have to eat, I have to be a productive member of my society - in whatever capacity I define that.

It has occurred to me that I could choose to find a place in the world where the air quality is pristine and the growing season is 10 months long. I could establish a farm, buy some organic cows and chickens, organic seeds and live there. Total isolation from the world going on around me, bliss. I could choose to let the world have its pollution, it's packaging and fluorescent lights. My little clean, disease and cancer free world to myself.

Then one day I'd get cancer. What would I do? Sit and let the disease take me over and kill me slowly? I would be somewhere dying wondering if I should have done a fundraiser when I was younger.

Or maybe some day I'd have kids, because I'm destined to be a dad someday.

Do you think for even a second that my kid(s) would choose to live on that farm for the rest of their lives too? Do you think it's fair that I keep my kids on that farm to keep them away from the rest of the world and cancer and other diseases and famines and cars? Should I keep them in the shade their whole lives to avoid melanoma? When/if they get cancer, I would be wondering if I should have done a fundraiser when I was younger.

Yes, I agree cancer is exacerbated by pollution and other human conventions. No, I don't think my efforts will single-handedly cure cancer. But I am a productive member of the society which I have made a conscious decision to be a part of. I'm expanding minds in a positive way along the way. This fundraiser is only one small thing I'm doing as a weak mortal who might die of cancer one day myself.

I chose to use the internet to share my experiences with people all over the country, most of whom I have never met. Shame on me for not moderating the comments. Shame on the world for fostering negativity that has to erupt and spill out of a person, scalding all in their presence.

Please be aware that my ride has not been a poor-me effort or anything unrealistic in terms of curing cancer. I'm just dealing with death and dying and a pervasive disease that is overwhelming on a personal scale. I'm sorry I didn't make that more clear to those of you have maybe only read my blog one time or so.

-Andrew